Tag Archives: married

Thoughts on Marriage

wedding throw

Marriage has become so commercialised that the meaning has almost been lost, with the average wedding costing £27,000.

As soon as venue hosts hear the word, the price doubles. It costs so much and for what? Just one day where you pledge to love each other forever and get tax and inheritance benefits?

What is marriage really all about?

Anyone would think it was money now.

So there is a growing trend of people having small private ceremonies, shunning the money waterfall of caterers, cake, flowers and favours.

I would have a small wedding at my local farm. But it costs £2,200 just to hire an empty, unfurnished barn.

My parents had a simple wedding. Mum bought her dress for £50 at a vintage second hand shop in Great Yarmouth. They had the party in their back garden after a simple church ceremony. Their friends provided the alcohol and the only thing they paid for was catering. Their friend took the photos.

Marriage is a private declaration of love and ultimately is shaped by the whims of the couple. I wouldn’t have a big party at all but for my friends and family wanting to join me. I have already had two friends ask to be invited and I haven’t even had a proposal yet.

I hope the proposal doesn’t take long. But if Princess Kate can wait ten years, so can I. As Chaucer said: “He who is pacient in love is at avantage to all above.” Your wedding ceremony can be whatever you want it to be. Don’t feel pressured to have a day that doesn’t feel true to you. If you want to pop along to your registry office instead, why not?

vows and dress

Leave a comment

Filed under Life of Lydia, Uncategorized

How to Feel Whole Again

Isn’t it strange how when someone you love is gone you feel like you’re missing half your heart?

So it was when I lost someone dear to me, when relationships ended, when I was single and longed for someone to hold and now, with my boyfriend away on holiday these past few weeks – that feeling of being incomplete.

It’s something we all experience. I was watching my guilty pleasure, Don’t Tell The Bride, last night and the couple were hearttearsdevastated to be leaving each other for three weeks, even though they were doing it to get married. The groom-to-be is given £12,000 to plan his future wife’s wedding, with hilarious consequences. In every episode there are tears, sometimes from both of them as they part. Because when someone we cherish leaves us we think of the space that opens up instead of rejoicing at the time we had together/looking forward to our next meeting. But it does make us appreciate them more as we realise how much they do/did for us or what an effect they have/had on our lives.

The only thing that makes my heart feel whole is when I am helping the lady I work with at the weekend. In focussing on her needs I can take the focus off myself. I can forget about the “I” and it makes me realise how selfish I am in daily life, always considering my needs before other peoples. This weekly meeting reminds me to think of others more, to be more considerate and to listen. Sometimes you can tell if someone is a carer. It can rub off on their personality.

So if you’re struggling to cope with loss, help others and keep busy.  Spend time with friends. With them you may miss that special someone less as you focus more on your current situation and surroundings. Missing someone is relating the space they leave behind with yourself and in doing so you don’t stay in the present and you don’t think of others.

carers_finances

2 Comments

Filed under Advice