Tag Archives: feminism

Plain Stupid Sexism

Everyday-sexism-Try-replacing-gender

It is incredible that in today’s society sexist abuse is still tolerated in some quarters. There has been a lot of discussion about the issue of consent following the Ched Evans case, where a footballer walked in on his friend having sex with a teenager who was so drunk that she had fallen over. He had a turn (filmed by his brother) and then walked out of the fire exit, leaving the woman unconscious due to the amount she of alcohol she had consumed. He then served just two and a half years in prison for rape, rather than the five recommended by sentencing guidelines. Even five years does not seem enough for this crime that causes considerable psychological trauma for the women involved.

I was surprised that a prominent celebrity (a lady on a popular talk show) then blamed the victim for being drunk. There seems to be an attitude, particularly amongst the older generation, that if a woman has too much to drink or wears short skirts then she’s somehow “asking for it”. But what a woman wears has no relation to how slutty she is. Which brings me on to the point that men who have multiple partners are deemed “playboy bachelors” whereas women are called “sluts” and worse.

It is sad that some men, sorry, boys, think it is acceptable to treat women in a degrading, disrespectful and downright disgusting manner. I think we need more education in schools about sexism as like the evils of racism and ageism, which I have ranted about previously, it is plain wrong and incredibly ignorant. These people see the world through such a distorted filter. 36% of women who say they have experienced this type of prejudice The figure is probably higher as many brush it off, given that they are often not taken seriously and accused of “making a fuss about nothing”. article-2706734-2004332500000578-978_306x440

Last month posters suggesting that alcohol means women are responsible for being raped by predatory men were withdrawn by the government after a public outcry which resulted in a petition gaining over 100,000 signatures. Sadly examples such as these show just how endemic sexism is.

I’ve had enough, as have a multitude of women judging by the international slutwalk protests.

Even Serena and Venus Williams were subjected to sexist comments regarding their physical appearance, with the president of the Russian Tennis Federation, Shamil Tarpischev, calling them “brothers”, voicing the outdated stereotype that muscles are for men. Serena Williiams complained, supported by Maria Sharapova. Tarpischev was fined $25,000 and suspended for a year. This outcome gave a clear message that sexism in sport will not be tolerated.

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The Groping Scandal

Lord Rennard is accused of the sexual harassment of up to a dozen women

Lord Rennard is accused of the sexual harassment of up to a dozen women

Nick Clegg MP recently gave an accurate description of what journalists are – self-appointed detectives. They dig up the facts and then report them, exposing things liars, cheats and wrongdoers would rather keep hidden.

The media are the third estate – sometimes called on when power-abusers cannot be dealt with by the police or the law. They may be able to escape the legal system but they cannot risk their reputation. Parliament had failed to act on groping claims directed at Lord Rennard. He was a Lord “holding the purse strings for any winnable seat [in Parliament]” and abusing his power, behaving as he wished with no consequence. Women had apparently gone through official channels and been let down. His friend Lord Stoneham is now accused of harassing the lady who went to the press.

Lord Rennard's chum, Lord Stoneham

Lord Rennard’s chum, Lord Stoneham

The fact is that Lord Stoneham was responsible for his friend’s conduct and one would hope that he addressed it with him. It is alleged that he promised a victim he would. A groping offence is no laughing matter, I have suffered this walking out of a bar and I felt shocked and disgusted. It was a complete stranger. My manager once said “we could have sex right now and no-one would know” when the office was empty. I often spoke about my boyfriend to remind him that I was not interested. A previous colleague had alleged sexual harassment and it had been brushed off as “banter”. This it is certainly not. It is inappropriate, ignorant and disrespectful.

It’s time the offence stopped being viewed as something comical that women “bring on themselves” or worse, that they “should be flattered” or even “enjoy” it. Women in the scandal were dismissed as “red hot babes” “silly girls” and “hormonal women”. If a woman says no or becomes uncomfortable men should know when to stop. Lets shift the focus away from the victims and onto the perpetrators.

Another problem this story highlights is the issue of management accountability. I was once in a company where bullying of a colleague was addressed in the internal post, as the accused was friends with her manager. Prior to this, when it happened to me, I went through official channels with the perpetrator’s manager. I was hauled into her office for a good dressing down from both of them. The frustration colleagues felt was epitomised in this picture which they laughed about. >>>>>image0011

How can a situation be addressed when the person responsible for the accused’s conduct is their peer? Surely they would side with them, as seems to be the case in this scandal, with the result that the problem was not dealt with. This leads to whistle-blowing. Victims are then hounded. We need to have management systems whereby whistle-blowing is not necessary, where someone can address an issue with someone more senior – a “my door is open” approach.

When there is no redress for disgruntled workers this may result in a negative working environment. Productivity may decrease as a result. I was in a company that was the most successful branch in the country. They had a culture of communication – the managers would talk to you on the same level, would hold meetings with you and would listen. They would work with colleagues, not above them. We were inspired by their success.

As for sexual harassment, I expect to encounter this again as it is so endemic. I will not hesitate to point out that I am not OK with it and find it inappropriate, and I hope readers will. If it is not addressed it will only continue.

Lets make management more approachable and accountable and lets stamp out sexual harassment, not only in the workplace but elsewhere.

The-SlutWalk-demonstratio-007

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Pole dancing – beautiful art or seedy sexiness?

Have you ever applied for a job you wouldn’t normally consider if you were in work?

Recently in my desperation I was considering pole dancing. I saw a documentary on it on the BBC a while back and it didn’t have to involve any contact.

Then it showed the luxurious lifestyles of the dancers, and described how they earn £80+ an hour. Now when you’re looking at a series of jobs at minimum wage or £7, the hourly wage of a dancer could look almost as tempting to a woman as they might to their drooling onlookers.

I’d like to see more male pole dancers – why aren’t male strip clubs more common? 156989317

Last time I was desperately jobseeking (recession, July 2008) I resorted to door-to-door sales. I was working alone, doing 12 hours shifts on commission only. A colleague had numerous experiences of harassment, abuse and downright creepiness. Luckily I just got kindly folks inviting me in for a chat and sometimes (thankfully) a cuppa. I may do a separate post on this, let me know if you’d like to hear about it, or your experience of it.

The reality of the job is quite different to this picture

The reality of the job is quite different to this picture

Last week I nearly applied for a pot washing job. The total 2 hour walking distance from my house put me off, as there was no public transport link. I think I’ll have a separate chat about bus “services”.

This week I’ve reached my final bastion of desperation. I applied for a life modelling job.

That’s right, I’m now so fed up of bouncing between short term work and unemployment that I’m prepared to get my kit off for money. I hope the artists see me as a collection of forms, line and shadow.  Ok, the money’s about 8 times less than

timthumba dancer’s, but I would be naked for the sake of art, so it seems acceptable to me. Only artists could see me and not anyone who wants to. I would feel like I was selling my soul pole dancing. Dancers call it art, and “beautiful”. In a  BBC 1Xtra interview a dancer doesn’t think it’s seedy, but I can’t see how making money by arousing sexual interest isn’t, no matter how graceful her moves are. I’d be curious to see what their lives are like. May buy a book on it. 

I still think pole dancing is seedy when done for cash, as opposed to beautiful. Beautiful to me is Grace Kelly.

She was graceful and modest. Without modest dress I think you're sexy and hot rather than beautiful.

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February 6, 2013 · 10:32 pm