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Unemployed…again.

“The-greatest-teacher-failure-is.”-Master-Yoda-Star-Wars

Since my last blog post, my life has changed completely.

In November 2017 I decided to apply to do a postgraduate nursing diploma. I had spent years working my way up to a well-paid steady job as a civil servant. But I wanted to have a job where I could help people. It was a gamble but it was the last year of the bursary – it was now or never.

“My bursary was £450 and rent is £380 – all activities were limited by my budget.”

I am no longer on the course but I hope that I can start again, because I really enjoyed both the academic and practical aspects of the course. It involved military discipline and if I wasn’t passionate about nursing I wouldn’t have managed it. I woke up at 6am to go to placement, got back at 5 or 6pm, ate a sandwich for dinner and then wrote a 6 000 word essay in the library until it shut at 9pm…for over a month.

My bursary was £450 and rent is £380, so all activities were limited by my budget, even food shopping. Gone were my flights of fancy at Waitrose. Now it was Aldi or Co-Op basics. The 30p bag of pasta and the £1 jar of pesto with some defrosted peas or carrots became my go-to meal.

Despite the long hours and low budget, patients kept me strong, smiling and focused and made the experience enjoyable. Being able to provide care was a privilege and gave me a deep sense of contentment.

It made me realise that caring for others is not just what I do, it is a fundamental part of who I am. It gives my life more meaning and purpose.

This is why I volunteered to help at a Dementia Cafe with a wedding theme this week. I immersed myself in the experience, from blowing up confetti balloons to hearing people’s life stories. It was a welcome relief from the stress of feeling lost, confused and worrying about the future.

If I don’t get another chance, what am I going to do?!

Things couldn’t be tougher. The intense combination of university and placement have been replaced by throwing myself at the job market. My bursary has been stopped but I still need to pay the rent. I have already had to endure two consecutive days of rejections from two job agencies.

“I didn’t get off the sofa most days.”

If I don’t find work in June, I will be forced to give up my independence and move back in with my parents. My housemate couldn’t believe it. “I love living with you” she said, “please don’t move out.”

I never thought I would be in this position again. It has been two weeks so far. The first week I was an emotional wreck and I came down with a sore throat and a cold. Exhausted and drained both physically and emotionally, I didn’t get off the sofa most days, crying, blowing my nose through a full loo roll and watching TV. I didn’t have the energy for anything else.

But when you’re at your lowest, you realise how lucky you are to have so many good people around you. Everyone gave their time to listen, offer advice, meals, and a shoulder to cry on. With their support my week gradually improved, and I was able to focus instead on my birthday celebrations.

I have already tried to get care work but sadly it wasn’t possible. I have no formal qualifications in it (despite years of experience) and I can’t afford a car.

Success-is-not-final-failure-is-not-fatal_-it-is-the-courage-to-continue-that-counts.-624x624

A few days ago I decided it was time to stop crying and get off the sofa. Partly because I had watched everything remotely interesting on TV catchup, from the BBC to More4 and ITV. There was only dreary daytime TV left.

I started by creating a more positive and restful environment. I tidied, cleaned and hoovered the house. The saying “clean space, clear mind” is confirmed by research showing that messy rooms cause excess cortisol production and can be distracting for the brain.

I then began a Post-It Power Plan, where I brainstormed ideas to find a way forward. It was a good method to get some clarity in the chaos.

I am either too qualified or too unqualified – I am stuck in Catch 22 limbo.

Yesterday my job mission continued. I rang up three job agencies and applied for admin work online. So far I have been turned down by two job agencies on the basis that although I have experience, it is not recent enough. This is a new level of competition compared to the “you don’t have enough experience” response when I was last unemployed some five years ago.

But persistence is key if you are to break through the increasingly reinforced walls of the current job market. The next day I ramped up the pressure by going in person to other job agencies with my CV and even going into various businesses with it. It is always more effective going to a job agency in person than contacting them by telephone or email. In person they can practically smell your desperation as you offer to give their employers your time on any basis, working for any pay and at any level, as you hand them your CV, your passport, your CRB certificate and your dignity. They can see that you’re tired from walking around all afternoon in the pouring rain in your business power dress.

Next week I am going to a job fair where up to 25 companies will be hiring and I will be spamming companies with CVs. By the time I’ve finished, I will be surprised if there is a business in the city that has not heard of me. Short of walking around with a billboard strapped to me, reading “AVAILABLE FOR WORK NOW” and my phone number, there isn’t much more I can do.

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I now have a busy week of job-hunting to look forward to next week. I have signed up with one agency and I have an appointment with another next week. I also have an appointment for Jobseekers Allowance. I am dreading going back to this handout again, it is so shameful that at my age and with my experience I will now have to sign up to weekly harassment involving job skills workshops, when I got a first in a careers development module at university. I know how to gain employment. The problem is that I am either too overqualified, or too underqualified – I am stuck in Catch 22 limbo.

I was in this desperate position when I started this blog in 2013. The blogging community spurred me on and eventually my documented struggle to find employment attracted over a thousand views a month from all over the world.

If you are in the same boat and you are struggling to keep your head above water, read this article about the importance of learning from failure and being patient until you succeed.

henryford1-2x

 

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Filed under Jobhunting, Life of Lydia, Uncategorized

Holiday report tonight!

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My friend said “I’ve got a bone to pick with you. I’ve been checking your blog every week with my husband and nothing! What’s going on?! We want an update!”

Due to popular demand I’m returning to the blog tonight!

Expect cultural photos of Turkey with a report on a busy trip with my friend! It was so relaxing having a week in the sun. If work’s getting on top of you get out there!

Off to do more sunbathing before my mum’s wind concert today. See you later guys and thank you for staying loyal during my break.

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Filed under Life of Lydia, Travel, Uncategorized

What’s hot – thermals and my blog on its anniversary!

Hello and welcome on a rainy dark cold English winter evening.

First of all I just want to thank you for checking out my blog over the last year. In 2013 I was unhappily unemployed and decided something needed to change. With qualifications and experience but fighting just to get an interview I began blogging and found a virtual family. Thank you to all those who read, commented, and supported me through that tough time and gave me the strength to keep going.

Thinking of ways I could help readers in my situation gave me something to do other than the endless repetitive task of filling out applications mixed in with a YouTube workout or two. I suddenly had an exciting project to do that stimulated my neurons far more than the endless repetition of personal details.

A year on I yet again face an uncertain future. But either way I will have gained more experience to help me stand out.

So what have I learnt during my year of blogging?

Rose Heart (4)1. Love and relationship stories are the most popular. My highest spike in viewings was the story of my first date. There are some highly entertaining dating blogs out there.

2. To accept an award you are expected to write endless drivel about yourself. I have only done this once, although I have appreciated the nominations.

3. The blog world is a real community – there are always friendly people that have been through exactly what you have and can sympathise. I found this especially helpful during times of financial hardship and struggling to get work. Use this support network.

4. It is a great way to help others. My most popular article remains Pros and Cons of Unemployment. I couldn’t find any articles on positives of unemployment. In this dire situation I thought about the British idiom “every cloud has a silver lining” and realised that if I could focus on this I would be able to cope with the situation much better. I began feeling happier, more confident and began interviews by following my own advice (for once). 

5. Blogging is a great tool to test creative projects – sharing photographs, paintings, cartoons and so on.

international-students1_10892518_std_16. I have been surprised at how international it is – my blog has been viewed in an incredible 87 countries and counting.

7. There is such a great variety out there. Just search for the topic you want to read and it’s all free.

And finally –

I have just realised how fantastic these are. Most people know that wearing layers keeps you warmer because they trap heat. The most important layer is the one next to your skin. Then the second one insulates and is also close to the body to minimise air gaps. You can read more about this technique here.

The lower the rating, the warmer it is! By silk I assume this means thick woven fabric…

Everyone raised their eyebrows and told me they were for the elderly and the elderly alone. When I looked on the thermals section of a clothing company the metrics did show that all comments were from the over 50s. But when thinking about saving money why not remember the wisdom of previous generations. Instead of turning up the heating, buy a few undergarments.

It cost me about £12 for the shirt and for the leggings but it’s a one-off purchase. You will get a lot more off your heating bill than that. I’m currently wearing thermal leggings with trousers over the top, thermal and standard long-sleeved shirts and an acrylic jersey. I have worn them all day. I don’t need an expensive wool one with all these layers. I find it itchy anyway.

As you have clothes over them, it doesn’t matter what they look like and you don’t have to admit to wearing them. But actually there are some good looking ones now – my shirt has dark blue and white stripes and being a scoop neck I can wear it under other tops without it showing. The leggings I’m wearing at the moment are more effective at retaining heat. They are mostly acrylic and their snug but comfortable fitting means there are no air gaps.

So go on, stay warm for less this winter.

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Filed under Advice, Jobhunting, Life of Lydia, Work

Overheard on the Bus

It’s going to take a few days for me to charge my holiday camera and write about my incredible Istanbul adventure. I aim to do it for Sunday but I’m making no promises.

One of my favourite blogs “Stuff Heard On The Bus” frequently documents the random conversations you catch bits of during the daily commute. It’s always entertaining and off the wall so I thought I’d give it a go with the odd chat I overheard today…

There is a larger lady in front wearing a turquoise fleece. Thin glasses frame small eyes almost in the middle of her face. Her hair is glistening with a layer of sebum, it hasn’t seen shampoo or even dry shampoo for quite some time. Next to her sits a slim, slight young man with dark features, hollowed cheeks, a short beard and an impish grin. He’s wearing a sleeveless puffer jacket with a hoodie underneath.

He sings: “Ringing da bell, ringiiiing da beeeelll”

“Shussshhhhhh” she says, looking round at me. I look away.

“Look, aa can’t ‘elp it, you know what a’m like, a don’t av an off-switch. Anywe, a thought a was funny!” he sounds hurt.

She smiles and leans towards him, pinching his cheek: “You wahhhr” she says softly.[Yorkshire language. Translation =were, should be “was” but the grammar is incorrect]

We’re at a busy stop and students are piling onto the bus.

“ON CUM DE ANIMALS TWO BA TWO!!”

The passengers stare.

“Sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh”

“Ssh yourself, ya can be really annoying you”

“Ye but no one wants to hear ya do they”

“How do YOU know?”

Silence.

She leans towards him again and says in a conspiratorial tone: “Soon we’ll be peelin. You’re peelin tonaht'”

[What were they peeling? vegetables? were they cooking dinner together? How romantic.]

“Peeling it, a peelin it” he sings triumphantly, moving a pack of multicoloured lighters into another bag and sticking a rolled up cigarette into his mouth.

“You’re not allowed to smoke it ya know”

“A know, I just like ta chew it, a like de taste”

Peelin it, a peelin it!”

His eyes widen and he bounces on the seat “Soon we’ll be peelin da foil off tha drugs!”

“SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH don’t say thaaat” she looks round yet again.

They get off at the council flats and as they do I’m hit by a strong smell. I don’t know what it is but I don’t want to think about it as I put my head down into my scarf.

*                                      *                                     *

They were clearly so wrapped up in addiction they weren’t concerned with personal hygeine. It was sad and I felt sorry for them. Thank goodness I have never been caught up in a cycle of drug-taking, debt and despair. I can’t think of anything worse. For example, I’ve heard of heroin addicts who give up their own children to the drug and seen how painful that is.

It’s crazy how intensely these peoples’ lives revolve around their next fix. Drugs become their only subject of conversation, when they are going to take it, who will have it first and then who had the most, who used it all up, when and how they are going to get some more. Once they’ve tried a bit it becomes just a bit more and it’s a slippery slope.

Don’t bother with drugs folks, nothing beats a natural high (e.g endorphins, love) and being addicted to it won’t kill you.

Love

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Liebster Blog Award Nomination

I have recently had pleasure in accepting a Liebster Blog Award. I couldn’t find anything official about it but nevertheless I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I have found that inspiration has been squeezed out of me like an orange in the juicer since I started work. Training has reminded me of lectures at university. I was glad for the chance to write on this topic, as ideas have not come to me daily as when I was unemployed. After work all I have room for in my overloaded brain is the satisfaction that can be gained with food and sleep.

The award is for those with less than 200 followers and comes from the German for “beloved” and “favourite” – liebe is to like, if my beginners German is correct…I am glad to have the chance to advertise other blogs which I enjoy reading and which I hope you will.

Here are the rules to accepting the award:

1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog and link back to the blogger who presented this award to you.
2. List 11 random facts about yourself.
3. Answer the 11 questions from the nominator.
4. Present the Liebster Blog Award to 11 blogs who you feel deserve to be noticed
5. Create 11 questions for your nominees.
6. Leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been chosen.
7. Copy and Paste the blog award on your blog.

Facts about myself

1. I have blonde hair

2. I have blue eyes

3. I am badly long-sighted. The optician recommended thick lenses and I made a massive fuss so he gave me lenses that look thin at a discount!

3. The first picture of me reading is at 5 months. I was holding the book the right way up and it was a story about a kitten. cuteness

4. I wanted to be a clown when I was 5 – I wanted to make people laugh like they did at the parties I attended. I still make people laugh, but usually unintentionally.

5. I read the Famous Five Series by the time I was 6.

6. I started learning the piano when I was 7.

7. I wrote a trilogy when I was about 7 called Twinkleberry the Elf. Sadly it was lost when we gave it to a family friend as a present. I remember one chapter where Twinkleberry gets locked in a cage in a lion pit and has to magic his way out…

8. I read the Lord of the Rings when I was 11. My favourite bit was where Frodo got stabbed, I had adrenaline going! I didn’t understand most of it but liked the fantasy of it.

9. I watched my first horror film aged 14 and was scared of sleeping in the dark for a while after!

10. I was too scared to try snails in France – the black slug peeping out of the baguette was more than I could take and I started crying! I was about 11…

11. I have never had a TV, which explains most of the above…

Here are some of the blogs I follow. Apologies if I have missed you out or if you have more than 200 followers – as I’m new to the blogging game I haven’t been able to see the number of followers on some blogs, especially given it’s getting late and I’ve worked today…

I would like to present the Liebster Blog Award to (in no particular order)…

1. http://ladybuglizziegail.wordpress.com/ The lovely lady who nominated me – she blogs on a variety of topics from anime to vampires.

2. http://davidanaturephotography.wordpress.com/ A photographer with great perspective, focussing on still life and nature shots.

3. http://wtpho.com Amazing travel photos, the latest ones of Vancouver reminded me of my lovely trip last year…

4. http://itsaneuthing.wordpress.com/ Engaging opinions on EU news.

5. http://eyespeak4u.wordpress.com/ Interesting insights into daily life – I particularly liked it when she wrote a post showing the perspective of her child on an issue, it was refreshing. WordPress is full of dull diaries but this stands out, as does the following link:

6. http://missyhren.wordpress.com/engaging witty writing of an unemployed graduate.

7. http://lifeonabranch.wordpress.com/diary of a graduate on minimum wage, as I am! I like the latest post on how to spend in thrift stores.

8. http://happilyeversingle.wordpress.com/If any of my readers are unhappy about being single I refer them to this blog, this lady looks on the bright side of life.

9. http://theonlyenglishmaninthevillage.wordpress.com/ I once considered English language teaching abroad, here is someone’s experience of it.

10. http://eharmono.wordpress.com/A laugh-out-loud look at online dating.

11. http://chinupchesthigh.wordpress.com/ As described on his blog “a 30 something’s guide to self discovery” a bravely written psychological eye-opener.

Eleven Questions for Me

1. What superpower do you wish you had?

I wish I had the superpower that the main character of Limitless has and of course without the side effects. That is, to be able to understand everything and for all information to just sink into your spongey brain. Right now mine feels more akin to a brick.

2. Favorite television show?

As stated before, I’m not bothered about TV and I still don’t have one so I watch Iplayer occasionally. My guilty secret? I enjoy Don’t Tell the Bride! Entertaining programmes don’t have to be intellectual. I’m not someone that has dreamed about their wedding since they were little! I like the comedy of a hapless boy of a man being given £12 000 to spend on a wedding which he has no idea about. Oh the drama. Oh the dress disasters.

I’m looking forward to watching the one I have linked, about a guy who gambles on whether to do the wedding in Las Vegas. He wins and so the decision is made, but will his fiancee marry him in Vegas at a tacky ceremony?? or will he be down on his luck??

3. Cats or Dogs?

Neither, both seem a pain to look after although I don’t mind other people’s.

4. What was your favorite subject in elementary school?

English

5. Zombies or Vampires?

Neither, they’re both ridiculous.

6. What is one book you can not live without?

JK Rowling’s Harry Potter – any of them. She’s the most skilled writer ever.

7. Are you a morning or a night person?

Night owl!

8. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I don’t think I’ve seen enough of the world to know. I liked New Zealand’s laid-back lifestyle though!

9. Superman or Batman

Superman, I prefer predictable hero to troubled tortured soul.

10. Android or Itunes

?? No technology at all preferably, it always breaks.

11. Who is your hero ??

My boyfriend 😀

My 11 questions to you, my esteemed bloggers (many of whom are also my followers, I salute you for that)

1. If you could be invisible what would you do?

2. If you could have dinner with anyone, who would it be and why?

3. What’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you?

4. What’s a quirky fact about yourself?

5. What do you find most enjoyable? e.g. hobby

6. What does success mean to you?

7. How do you save money?

8. Do you live life for now or save for the future?

9. How did you meet your other half OR what’s the best thing about being single?

10. What makes you feel confident?

11. If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you’d do?

I also welcome answers to these questions from other readers.

Thank you again to LadyBugDreams who made my dream of winning a blogging award come true! Thank you also to all my followers who inspire me to keep writing. Now I must go, as my brain has returned to nudging me about sleep, now that the food part is content.

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Interesting links

Insightful relationship advice

http://dashingpee.wordpress.com/2013/11/11/when-he-needs-space/

Great article on how to stay positive when dealing with negative people

http://www.wikihow.com/Save-Yourself-from-Toxic-People

Swansea audience asks panel about unemployment

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01qqql2/Free_Speech_Unemployment_Crisis/

Confidence

After my blog post on the subject I was reading an employer’s perspective on life-modelling. It said they were holding a Women Only session, involving female artists as well as models. It said 13 out of 15 applicants for their job posts were male.

I suggested that perhaps this is because a lot of women aren’t as confident about themselves as men. Certainly I’ve found my female friends to be more self-critical and self-doubting than my male friends.

Then I found this link.

http://news.uk.msn.com/poll-women-less-confident-than-men

Any thoughts?

A blog supporting graduates with their jobsearch

http://journeytoworkdotnet.wordpress.com/2013/01/14/how-to-banish-job-interview-nerves/comment-page-1/#comment-14

Why being single is better/how not to be an annoying couple

http://hommemaker.com/2013/02/07/why-everyone-hates-couples/

Money-saving tips for Valentines

http://blog.ingdirect.com.au/2013/02/08/five-ways-to-save-this-valentines-day/comment-page-1/#comment-2253

Problems chefs have experienced with Valentines diners

http://money.msn.com/now/post.aspx?post=6bd31f5a-7a0c-4f82-a5c8-b262bd7490da

A study shows women tend to go for taller men

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-men-and-women-find-a-partner–the-long-and-short-of-it-8454629.html

Tips for jobhunters – this post is on interview nerves

https://blogs.dal.ca/csc/2012/02/13/how-to-calm-interview-nerves/

Why you should apply to private sector work

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/lms/labour-market-statistics/january-2013/statistical-bulletin.html#tab-Public-and-private-sector-employment

Redundancies (also has links to other job market statistics, such as the unemployment rate)

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/lms/labour-market-statistics/january-2013/statistical-bulletin.html#tab-Redundancies

More tips on jobhunting

http://jobmarketmonitor.com/

Graduate interviewing tips

http://blog.whydc4u.com/top-five-interviewing-tips-for-new-or-not-so-new-grads-part-two/

5 Graduate Habits to keep up

http://lifeonabranch.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/5-college-habits-you-should-keep-after-graduation/comment-page-1/#comment-107

Reframing negative thoughts

http://chinupchesthigh.wordpress.com/2013/02/24/new-bottom-line-feelings-and-rules-for-living/

Tips for graduates working in a non-graduate job

http://www.graduatesanonymous.com/work/how-to-sell-your-soul-to-a-mindless-retail-job/

Confessions of a graduate shelf-stacker

http://www.graduatesanonymous.com/work/confessions-shelf-stacker/

Benefit sanctions

http://johnnyvoid.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/benefit-sanctions-treble-in-just-two-years-and-theres-far-worse-to-come/

Work and Pensions questions 11.03.13

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01rb36q/House_of_Commons_Live_Work_and_Pensions_Questions/

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February 7, 2013 · 11:26 am