Tag Archives: anxiety

Thoughts on Chronic Illness

Daughter fall asleep waiting her mother in hospital

Recently a friend told me that she might have cancer.

Two lumps had appeared, one small, one big. The doctor immediately sent her for a biopsy. The cells were abnormal and treatment is needed.

The doctor was worried because she used to be a heavy smoker and overweight, two known risk factors.

She said the worse part was the torment of not knowing.

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Once she has a diagnosis, she can plan, but for now she has to wait, thoughts churning around about the future.

We discussed how she could manage it and even speculated as to what the result might be. I tried to reassure her, but there isn’t much I can say or do, other than telling her that I will be there for her, no matter what. She was experiencing an emotional storm of frustration, anger, sorrow and fear. She is a strong woman both mentally and physically, but nothing can prepare you for the shock of being told you have a long-term illness.

My friend is courageously dealing with an uncertain future. She said that her illness had helped her gain more focus and she will now attack her bucket list with a renewed vigour.

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In times of difficulty we need the courage to draw on our inner resources and access support networks. We may need to evaluate our perspective. In Buddhist philosophy, adversity is seen as the best teacher, a chance to learn from experience and emerge a stronger, wiser person.

So what have I learnt from the experience of my friends?

Firstly, the importance of living in the moment.

No one has a crystal ball. If we speculate about the future we only create fear and worry. This destabilises us and prevents us from being fully present to support friends in need. Everything is easier if we take a moment, slow down and just float on the river of life, wherever it takes us. Not accepting our reality is like trying to swim against the current; it wastes our energy and is futile.

Secondly, I need to be grateful.

We spend so much time focussing on what we do not have. We are constantly unhappy with the present and want more. We forget just how lucky we are. There is so much suffering in the world and, whilst we all experience peaks and troughs, somehow we escape the worst of it.

I would like you to take a moment to be grateful.

Be thankful for all the people in your life who guide and support you, your cheerleaders. Be thankful that you have mental and/or physical good health. But most of all, be thankful for the love and kindness of family and friends. Against all odds, love conquers all.

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Filed under Advice, Life of Lydia, Uncategorized

Interviews are like Exams – prepare to succeed!

Employment blog – useful advice
http://80000hours.org/blog/109-should-we-stop-interviewing-people *Clean-shaven!

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Revise and you are more likely to get a good result! Preparation makes perfect.

If you want a positive outcome you have got to know what you’re talking about and go in with all the documents you need.You need to revise and get everything you need in advance to save rushing and panicking on the day. Then you need to make sure you get there on time, but not more than 15 minutes early or they may think your time-management skills are off.

Read on for advice which I hope enables me to pass my interview tomorrow. I have another one next week – look at the rest of my posts for more advice which has helped me with my jobhunting mission.

Left or right? I have a striped and plain shirt, which should I choose? it’s an office job.

Check out http://www.jobiety.com/9-tips-for-dressing-for-interview.html for more interview dressing advice

– Looks

Are your work shirt and trousers ironed? are your work shoes clean and shiny?are your tattoos covered? is your hair neat/tied back? is your dress or skirt knee length or longer? are your earrings subtle? is your make up/jewelry subtle? I avoid wearing jewelry. A nice watch should suffice, although mine no longer tells the time…

Proof

– Papers

Have you got all the relevant certificates? especially for essential qualifications.

Have you got your passport and driving licence? have you got two proofs of address (bank statement/bill/bank card and cheque book)? National Insurance proof – P45 or P60 or card?

Have you got references? Check that former employers are prepared to give you one in advance. I need 3 years worth – that’s all the contact details of pretty much everyone I’ve ever worked for…Check the list and make sure you have all the documents and photocopies of them, so you look really organised and efficient.

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– Essential skills

Have you practiced them? I need good spreadsheet knowledge, so I’m reminding myself. No good saying I Excel at them if I can’t prove it!

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She's thinking about how her cv skills match the job description!

She’s thinking about how her cv skills match the job description!

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– Have you got down potential answers to potential questions?

This is important for the competency-based questions. Check what qualities they want from you. E.g attention to detail, and think about how your previous work highlights those skills. Prepare your answers and analyse them. Are they the best examples?

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– Travel time

Once you have everything you need make sure you know how long it will take to get there in total – including walking to the bus stop/train station and from there to the interview. If you’re driving, check out where you will park and leave time for it. Check you have enough money for transport costs.

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– Preparation time

Give yourself double the time you usually take to get ready in order to make sure you have everything and remind yourself of the skills you are going to highlight and how.

 – Put yourself in the interviewer’s shoes

1. What would you ask to find the right person for your company?  2. Plan your answers. 3. What would they want to hear? How does this compare with what you have planned to say?

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Finally don’t be beaten by nerves! Think about why you’re the best for the job and convey your positive attitude. This will convince the interviewer too, if they can see that you believe in your skills.

I intend to go in there tomorrow fully prepared and therefore confident that I am the one and they would be losing out by not picking me.

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Filed under Jobhunting