Tag Archives: abuse

Plain Stupid Sexism

Everyday-sexism-Try-replacing-gender

It is incredible that in today’s society sexist abuse is still tolerated in some quarters. There has been a lot of discussion about the issue of consent following the Ched Evans case, where a footballer walked in on his friend having sex with a teenager who was so drunk that she had fallen over. He had a turn (filmed by his brother) and then walked out of the fire exit, leaving the woman unconscious due to the amount she of alcohol she had consumed. He then served just two and a half years in prison for rape, rather than the five recommended by sentencing guidelines. Even five years does not seem enough for this crime that causes considerable psychological trauma for the women involved.

I was surprised that a prominent celebrity (a lady on a popular talk show) then blamed the victim for being drunk. There seems to be an attitude, particularly amongst the older generation, that if a woman has too much to drink or wears short skirts then she’s somehow “asking for it”. But what a woman wears has no relation to how slutty she is. Which brings me on to the point that men who have multiple partners are deemed “playboy bachelors” whereas women are called “sluts” and worse.

It is sad that some men, sorry, boys, think it is acceptable to treat women in a degrading, disrespectful and downright disgusting manner. I think we need more education in schools about sexism as like the evils of racism and ageism, which I have ranted about previously, it is plain wrong and incredibly ignorant. These people see the world through such a distorted filter. 36% of women who say they have experienced this type of prejudice The figure is probably higher as many brush it off, given that they are often not taken seriously and accused of “making a fuss about nothing”. article-2706734-2004332500000578-978_306x440

Last month posters suggesting that alcohol means women are responsible for being raped by predatory men were withdrawn by the government after a public outcry which resulted in a petition gaining over 100,000 signatures. Sadly examples such as these show just how endemic sexism is.

I’ve had enough, as have a multitude of women judging by the international slutwalk protests.

Even Serena and Venus Williams were subjected to sexist comments regarding their physical appearance, with the president of the Russian Tennis Federation, Shamil Tarpischev, calling them “brothers”, voicing the outdated stereotype that muscles are for men. Serena Williiams complained, supported by Maria Sharapova. Tarpischev was fined $25,000 and suspended for a year. This outcome gave a clear message that sexism in sport will not be tolerated.

1 Comment

Filed under Life of Lydia

Anti-Wrinkle Ageism

anti-ageism-65-small-45166

Yesterday I went to buy some more anti-wrinkle day cream. The media bombard us with messages that we should “defend” ourselves against signs of growing old. But is this just the ugly face of ageism?

We have an increasingly ageing population, yet age discrimination is still a big 271333881_5342e17059_zproblem. I have written previously about how a former sales manager in his fifties experienced ageism routinely at interviews.

The horse-racing pundit John McCirick, 73 has this month launched legal action against Channel 4, who he said sacked him for a younger replacement. Chris Moyles, then 38, was an excellent Radio 1 presenter, always entertaining. He was replaced by Nick Grimshaw, then 27, who is boring and self-obsessed, but knows a bunch of celebrities. A colleague had commented that Moyles was “too old”. Last year a 52 year old won an age discrimination case against his employers who replaced him with a 15 year old who they could hire for less. The year before that, a BBC Countryfile presenter won her case against being sacked because of her age.

HelpAge International has launched a petition which I have contributed to. It urges the government to press for a UN convention protecting the rights of  older people. So far over 8 000 people have signed it.

http://www.helpage.org/get-involved/campaigns/what-is-age-demands-action/sign-the-ada-petition/

Faukja Singh, 101, the oldest person to complete a marathon!

Faukja Singh, 101, the oldest person to complete a marathon!

Lets stop thinking that the passing of the years is some sort of problem which we must “protect” ourselves against. If you’re worried about looking old why not try natural methods of looking younger instead? According to research, exercising vigorously for more than 40 minutes a couple of times a week results in a younger-looking appearance over time.

I would rather look old than scary. I will fight for the right to be seen as experienced rather than due for retirement, and I will defend myself against ageism, not wrinkles.+Jackie+Stallone++'The+Expendables+2'+film+premiere,+Los+Angeles,+America+-+15+Aug+2012+

1 Comment

Filed under Jobhunting, Life of Lydia, Work

The Groping Scandal

Lord Rennard is accused of the sexual harassment of up to a dozen women

Lord Rennard is accused of the sexual harassment of up to a dozen women

Nick Clegg MP recently gave an accurate description of what journalists are – self-appointed detectives. They dig up the facts and then report them, exposing things liars, cheats and wrongdoers would rather keep hidden.

The media are the third estate – sometimes called on when power-abusers cannot be dealt with by the police or the law. They may be able to escape the legal system but they cannot risk their reputation. Parliament had failed to act on groping claims directed at Lord Rennard. He was a Lord “holding the purse strings for any winnable seat [in Parliament]” and abusing his power, behaving as he wished with no consequence. Women had apparently gone through official channels and been let down. His friend Lord Stoneham is now accused of harassing the lady who went to the press.

Lord Rennard's chum, Lord Stoneham

Lord Rennard’s chum, Lord Stoneham

The fact is that Lord Stoneham was responsible for his friend’s conduct and one would hope that he addressed it with him. It is alleged that he promised a victim he would. A groping offence is no laughing matter, I have suffered this walking out of a bar and I felt shocked and disgusted. It was a complete stranger. My manager once said “we could have sex right now and no-one would know” when the office was empty. I often spoke about my boyfriend to remind him that I was not interested. A previous colleague had alleged sexual harassment and it had been brushed off as “banter”. This it is certainly not. It is inappropriate, ignorant and disrespectful.

It’s time the offence stopped being viewed as something comical that women “bring on themselves” or worse, that they “should be flattered” or even “enjoy” it. Women in the scandal were dismissed as “red hot babes” “silly girls” and “hormonal women”. If a woman says no or becomes uncomfortable men should know when to stop. Lets shift the focus away from the victims and onto the perpetrators.

Another problem this story highlights is the issue of management accountability. I was once in a company where bullying of a colleague was addressed in the internal post, as the accused was friends with her manager. Prior to this, when it happened to me, I went through official channels with the perpetrator’s manager. I was hauled into her office for a good dressing down from both of them. The frustration colleagues felt was epitomised in this picture which they laughed about. >>>>>image0011

How can a situation be addressed when the person responsible for the accused’s conduct is their peer? Surely they would side with them, as seems to be the case in this scandal, with the result that the problem was not dealt with. This leads to whistle-blowing. Victims are then hounded. We need to have management systems whereby whistle-blowing is not necessary, where someone can address an issue with someone more senior – a “my door is open” approach.

When there is no redress for disgruntled workers this may result in a negative working environment. Productivity may decrease as a result. I was in a company that was the most successful branch in the country. They had a culture of communication – the managers would talk to you on the same level, would hold meetings with you and would listen. They would work with colleagues, not above them. We were inspired by their success.

As for sexual harassment, I expect to encounter this again as it is so endemic. I will not hesitate to point out that I am not OK with it and find it inappropriate, and I hope readers will. If it is not addressed it will only continue.

Lets make management more approachable and accountable and lets stamp out sexual harassment, not only in the workplace but elsewhere.

The-SlutWalk-demonstratio-007

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized